How do you know whether you’re a fountain or a drain? What does this really mean and why does it matter?
Well, there are generally two types of people when it comes to relationships. One is a fountain, the other is a drain. A fountain is one who pours into the other person and themselves. They are a blessing to be around, they are usually flourishing in every way and they cause others around them to flourish as well, by making accommodations or doing whatever it takes to help others excel and reach their goals and full potential. Fountains also encourage and build other people up,
The other type is a drain. A drain is a drag to be around, they are the complainers, the whiners, and they like to call their friends and dump all their issues on them because they always need someone to vent to about their problems; while never considering if the other person really wants to hear about it or not. They don’t care, because it’s really all about them.
Drains often can’t or won’t change on areas they need to improve upon and they keep making the same mistakes year after year and don’t make noticeable improvements.
“Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.”
-Proverbs 26:11
Fountains make adjustments to improve themselves and change their behavior for the better. What is that thing in your life you know is negative, but you keep on doing it? It could be anything from dating the wrong men to saying words you shouldn’t be saying as a Christian, and so on.
Being a fountain in a relationship or a marriage will bless you and the other person, but being a drain can destroy the relationship. Some of the things people deal with as drains can be demonic strongholds that need to be prayed and fasted over or it could just be selfishness, rebellion, laziness or unwillingness to change the behavior, which means it’s pure flesh.
Whatever you discover may be the case for you, do everything you need to do in order to turn yourself from a drain into a fountain. Take advice from someone wiser than you in the area you need to change or someone who has mastered the negativity you’re trying to get rid of to help you understand what you need to do and allow them to hold you accountable.
Oftentimes, drains have exhibited this “draining” type of behavior most of their lives and either no one has ever called them out on it, or people closest to them have distanced themselves or just exited their lives with no explanation to get away from the toxic behavior and abuse it may have caused.
You can drain the life right out of a relationship with repetitive negative behavior until there is nothing left. It would be in your best interest to take every precaution now as a single woman to change and fix whatever needs to be done in this area. This is not something you want to have to deal with after you’re married. Marriage can be challenging enough without adding another layer of “fixer uppers” to it that could have been dealt with while you were single.
Please don’t consider this another “marriage prep” exercise that sounds encouraging. I implore you to take this advice seriously and eradicate any “draining” behavior from your life right now. If you don’t, the reality you may have to face could be that you’ll drain your husband so much until he walks right out the door.
Finally meet and marry the man God has for you. Marriage preparation and Godly relationship advice for Christian women. Order the book here: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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