Do most Christian women marry their dream guy? If I had to guess, I would say no. If a woman’s idea of a dream guy is just to find and marry a good Christian man, it’s time that she raises her standards. Don’t you think you deserve more?
If you get a good Christian man who is a missionary, but you don’t like to travel, now you have a mismatch. Let me share with you how finding a man who is just a Christian but nothing about him is tailored to your unique wants and desires can end up in a disaster, especially if you marry him.
First of all, to raise your standards you have to have some. Your standards can’t be based on all the failed relationships you’ve had or seen with your family and friends or heartbreaks you may have experienced. Get rid of that, get with God, pray, know yourself, your unique needs and desires with all of your funny little quirks, no matter how shallow or deep and let’s come up with a real man of God that he designed just for you.
It also helps to know what you truly don’t like in a man so you can avoid it like the plague. A very important tip is to never think that the type of man you want isn’t out there, he is. Just as you exist, so does he and be it unto you according to your faith.
The example I’m going to share with you is a real life scenario of what I’m talking about, so please pay close attention so you never make a mistake like this.
I recently saw a YouTube video of an American vlogger who moved to Japan and ended up marrying a Japanese man. She is obsessed with Asian culture and speaks multiple Asian languages.
Naturally, she probably figured that marrying a Japanese man would be a great fit for her because he is of the culture she was so fascinated with, and having a Japanese husband would allow her to practice the language with a native everyday. They obviously share the same cultural interests, so it’s perfect.
After all, who can find an American that would even be interested in speaking multiple Asian languages and would want to permanently live in Japan?
4 years after having her YouTube channel and living in Asia, and only 1 year after being married, she posted a new video. This video was about a man she met in Japan who was raised there from childhood, was an American, is of her same ethnicity and speaks the exact same 3 Asian languages as her, Japanese, Chinese and Taiwanese.
He’s very handsome, has a great personality, and he's very expressive, which is unlike Japanese men culturally. Her Japanese husband has shown himself to be quite stoic with not much personality in many of her videos. She also found out this man just made a movie that can be seen on Amazon Prime in Japan and TUBI in North America and Europe and they are around the same age.
This woman is beyond impressed with this man clearly, and you can guess she never expected to meet an attractive, American man with all the same interests as her down to every language she speaks with such an intriguing personality.
She keeps complimenting him as to how confident he is, admires how well he connects with the Japanese children in a way that she hasn’t been able to since she’s lived there. She expresses how he’s like a teacher and knows Japanese history better than Japanese people.
She also said she was going to take him to China and give him the best China experience ever. So she’s ready to travel with this man she just met and would like to do more YouTube videos with him because she said it’s just too fun!
In the video, she’s riding around with him in his car as they drive around the city and the other bad part about it is, they literally look like a perfect couple. In the video he tells her, “I’ve been wanting to find someone like you my whole life, who I can like, just blah blah blah in all the languages I know because it’s so fun!”
As a married woman, if she continues meeting up with this man she is setting herself up for a potentially adulterous situation whether it’s mentally or physically that can cause major issues in her newlywed marriage.
Here’s the problem I want to warn you about. She probably thought she married her “dream guy” because it seemed cute, convenient and interesting, but it’s possible she just met him. The type of man she always envisioned, but never found, so she gave up and settled. Now, she’s married and unavailable.
If she would’ve waited just 1 year and not been so anxious to be married to the first guy that seemed like a great catch and showed an interest in marrying her, she would’ve had the opportunity to meet this other guy and had time to make a more informed decision on who she wanted to marry based on what she envisioned as her dream guy. Now, she’s in a situation that could turn out very badly if she’s not careful.
This is why you have to be clear on what you want in a man, make a list! Don’t be willing to compromise because you think the pickings are slim, you do not want to end up in a situation like this and regret a marital decision because one day you came across someone who was actually the dream guy you desired all along.
Instead, you got impatient or desperate because it was taking too long and you thought the idea of what you wanted in a man either didn’t exist or just wasn’t possible for you. Think again.
Finally meet and marry the man God has for you. Marriage preparation and Godly relationship advice for Christian women. Order the book here: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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