If you had to pick only one career that you would have to do for the rest of your life and could never change it, what would it be? Better yet, how much research would you invest to make sure it was going to be the best fit for you, forever?
I’m sure you would diligently take the proper time and effort to make sure you knew everything about that career field to ensure it would make you happy for the rest of your life. Marriage is no different, it’s serious business and people approach it way too casually because they just don’t fully understand how critical it is. Maybe this will put things into proper perspective. Outside of giving your life to Christ, who you marry is the second most important decision you will ever make in your life.
Marriage can make or break you, literally. It has the power to edify, love, encourage and exalt; it also has the power to destroy, hate, discourage and tear down. Women glamorize it way too much because of Hollywood movies, but there can be a scary reality to marriage for some women who choose wrong. Some of you may have already experienced this, if you were previously married and are now divorced.
Marriage is not a wedding, marriage is not courting, marriage is not going out on dates, marriage is not a Hollywood movie, marriage is not having kids, marriage is not a honeymoon. Marriage takes work on your part and you can choose how much effort you want to put into it, which will determine how well it goes for you.
I’ve heard the phrase, “Marriage is work.” I used to not think too much of that as a newlywed and decided, marriage is what you make it. But, as you experience different seasons of your marriage, some seasons require much more work than others and you can never plan for it. If you like surprises, marriage is full of them so get ready!
I want to encourage you that when you’re meeting Christian bachelors and auditioning them in your mind to decide if they could be marriage material, please understand that what you ultimately decide should not be taken lightly. You have to know yourself and what you like extremely well and be able to discern what type of lifestyle and personality works well with you. Ask God for his divine guidance to make the right decision and be sure to listen!
Never allow anyone to make the decision for you on who you choose to marry, not your pastor, your parents or your best friends. Granted, you absolutely should consider sound advice and wisdom from those who are close to you and have your best interest at heart and are spiritually mature. But ultimately, you are the one who has to choose and live with this person for the rest of your life. Pray, take good advice, make sure you have peace from God and move forward accordingly.
Some women are still single because they’re just not ready. Consider that a blessing right now and use this time as the opportunity to get ready as much as possible. You’ll need all the advice you can get. I have provided as many resources to you as I can through my blogs, book and YouTube channel to help you in every way possible and will continue to do so.
These newsletters may seem like just a fun read right now, but when you do cross that threshold into marriage you’ll completely understand and be able to genuinely appreciate all of the advice you've been receiving so far, and you will have a better marriage as a result of it. I wouldn’t want you to experience anything that could have been avoided by just having a little knowledge from someone with more experience.
Finally meet and marry the man God has for you. Marriage preparation and Godly relationship advice for Christian women. Order the book here: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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