As a single woman, have you ever wondered what it’s really like to be married? Is it everything you dreamed it could be? The answer is yes and no.
So many single women are caught up in an idealistic fairytale of marriage because they’ve ingested so many romance movies over the years. This may have warped their perception of what marriage is really like and can cause many women to be disappointed when they do get married if it doesn’t turn out like the movies or how they imagined in their head.
Courting is NOT marriage and “You never know a person until you live with them,” which is a famous quote from my mother and it’s true. You have to realize you’re dealing with another person who wasn’t raised like you, likely doesn’t see the world exactly like you and may or may not enjoy the same things you do. You may have extremely similar spiritual values which is the most important thing, but you may find there are a lot of differences on a day to day basis you were not aware of. People also change over time and prayerfully it’s a change for the better.
Will you ever fight? Yes. Will you get divorced over it? No. A quote from Cece Winans, “Marriage can either make you backslide or have a revival.” Sometimes you experience both. If you are a disagreeable person right now, marriage might be very difficult for you. You have to learn to put someone else’s needs before your own at times and be sensitive to what they need and want. When you imagine what you want your marriage to be like, it’s a very one-sided view that you expect your husband to jump on board with when you meet him and that’s not always fair to him. Both of you can create the type of marriage you want, together.
When you’re dating/courting many women can’t understand that marriage isn’t an “event” like a date or the wedding. It mostly consists of your day to day routine; wake up, get dressed, go to work, cook, eat, take care of the house, etc. and of course intimacy! Some women can feel like the excitement is over when they experience this reality check as a newlywed and it could create many other marital problems. I don’t just want to see you get married, I want to see your marriage last. Too many people get divorced over trivial things nowadays and they’re not in it for the long haul.
If you remember nothing in this article, I want you to remember this; your husband is not the source of your happiness, Jesus is.
Once you deeply understand this and you make this your reality, many issues you can encounter in a marriage will roll off your back. Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying, your husband can and will make you happy, but he’s a fallible human being just like you are and he’s bound to make a mistake along the way.
Similarities in a marriage are good, but the differences are also very valuable. You don’t want to marry a clone of yourself, that could be boring and you won’t grow if you’re not challenged. Marriage should make you a better person than you were when you were single and help you see things about yourself you need to improve and that you may need to remove. As a wife, you have to be willing to change, adapt and make sacrifices. That could be something as simple as making the bed when you get up every day, sometimes it’s the small things that can make a big difference in a marriage.
For more dating and relationship advice, marriage preparation, how to heal from your past and more, purchase the book: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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