Trait #1 - Virtuous Woman
“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” -Proverbs 31:10 (KJV)
What is a virtuous woman?
A virtuous woman is one that has or shows high moral standards and is chaste. A moral woman is one that is concerned with right and wrong behavior and holds high principles for proper conduct. This woman is also chaste which means she abstains from all extramarital sexual intercourse.
Why is she compared to a ruby?
Rubies are considerably rarer than diamonds, but only in gem-quality form. These rubies have been priced in the millions of dollars. Through the ages, the ruby has represented nobility, purity and passion. God wants to show us the high value a virtuous woman has in His eyes, her worth is far beyond rubies; she is utterly priceless, not only in God’s eyes, but in the eyes of her husband.
What is the Bible saying?
The Bible uses the metaphor of a ruby to compare it to a virtuous woman, illustrating that a woman of this caliber is rare and difficult for a Godly man to find. In some translations, the word ‘wife’ is used in place of ‘woman.’ In this scripture, God is showing us the high standard we should have for ourselves as women of God and how we should view ourselves.
As a result, we have to think and act accordingly. Meditate on this verse and allow it to sink deep into your heart and begin to see yourself as the virtuous woman of God that you truly are. No matter what you have experienced or been through, in Christ, it’s all redeemable and Jesus washes your sins as white as snow. You have great value, you are not worthless and you are deeply loved and treasured by God.
Trait #2 - Wisdom
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. -Proverbs 31:26 (NASB)
What You Say Matters:
When the Proverbs 31 woman opens her mouth, she speaks with wisdom. Wisdom is the quality of having experience, knowledge, good judgment, soundness of action or decision. Many women enjoy talking and having conversations, but when you speak, are you speaking with wisdom?
We should choose our words more carefully, because our words have the ability to build someone up or tear them down. Women are more emotional than men, so our words can be full of emotion instead of being full of wisdom at times. The Bible says we should be quick to listen and slow to speak. Think about what you want to say a few times before you say it; is it beneficial, exhorting or wise? How good is a word spoken in due season! Sometimes you can say the right thing at the wrong time.
The Proverbs 31 woman not only speaks with wisdom but she laces it with kindness. At her core, this woman is not only wise, but she’s genuinely kind to everyone. How is your love walk? Do you need to soften up and be more kind to those around you? God is the only one that can fundamentally change our temperament from the inside out. We can put on a good act externally, but if you haven't allowed God to do the work on the inside, it’s easy to revert back to carnal behaviors that are not so kind or wise.
Learning to speak with wisdom and kindness goes a long way when you’re in a relationship with someone or married. It’s not always what you say, but it’s how you say it. These two basic principles of speaking with wisdom and kindness are paramount, and not practicing them can lead to many unnecessary arguments in relationships or even a divorce.
Trait #3 - Domestic
She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. -Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)
The Proverbs 31 woman was not only wise, but she was also domestic. This woman knew how to take care of her household and she wasn’t lazy about it. Her sole focus was not only on book smarts but she knew there was another dynamic in a marriage that she was responsible for; watching over the affairs of her household. She took care of the needs of her household, husband, children and maidservants which likely consisted of cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. She was an entrepreneur, bought property, made and sold clothes while still taking time to help the poor.
This woman was serious about her work and she did it with great joy which made her husband proud and he trusted her. As a single woman, and likely a working professional, domestic skills can be easily overlooked and undervalued, but they do have great importance in a marriage. While you’re single it’s advisable to hone your domestic skills in areas you may have a weakness in such as cooking, cleaning, etc. These seemingly simple tasks are actually endearing to a husband and can even make you appear more alluring. As you prepare yourself for marriage, don’t neglect any area of self improvement because it will benefit you more than you could ever realize.
Trait #4 - Spiritual
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” -Proverbs 31:30 (NASB)
In order to attract their future husbands, single women tend to focus more on their exterior than their interior. Granted, the way you look should not be ignored and you do want to look attractive and put together because that is what will initially draw a man to you. But, when you attract a man, what are you offering him essentially? You don’t want to be a beautiful empty shell with no substance inside, that is a huge turnoff to a man.
The Proverbs 31 woman was aware that being charming to lure a man in and being beautiful is not sustainable to make a relationship last. This is not to say that charm and beauty are not important, but these two things alone are not enough. Charm can be deceptive because many women put on a sweet demeanor to attract a man, but that’s not who they really are inside, they’re using deception to get what they want. The scripture also says ‘beauty is vain’ because it displays excess pride in your physical appearance when your focus should be on God and spiritually building up your inner (wo)man. Vanity is not to be confused with confidence.
You want to cultivate your spirit while you’re single and draw near to God on a regular basis. Allowing God to transform you into his image is what will ultimately make a marriage last and cause you to be the type of wife God created you to be. When you’re walking in the love of God, you’ll appear more beautiful, charming and praiseworthy to a man. Your deep reverence and love for God will naturally give you a deeper reverence and love for your future husband.
Now we'd like to hear from you:
Which of the Proverbs 31 Woman traits do you plan to cultivate in your own life?
Or, do any of these traits seem difficult for you to develop?
Let us know by leaving a comment below!
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