There are 6 sexual compromises you may be allowing in your life unknowingly that could be hindering you from getting married.
Did you know, that if you’re having premarital sex and engaging in foreplay-like activities, you’re delaying the arrival of your future husband? If you’re not careful with the type of media you consume, a real man of God could see you as spiritually immature?
Your style of dress may be attracting the wrong kind of men. Sexual thoughts are a setup for marital problems in your future. Masturbation is changing the way your body responds to sex. Your friends can be hurting your chances of meeting your future husband if you’re not careful.
If you want to understand how these sexual compromises could be keeping you single, keep reading.
#1 - Sex
Let’s start with the most obvious, sex.
“You’re a Christian and you shouldn’t be having sex, that’s the bottom line.”
You probably already know that premarital sex is a sin against God and your own body (1Corinthians 6:18). So, if you’ve had sex in your past, if you’re currently having sex or participating in any type of foreplay-like activities outside of marriage, STOP! Repent and ask God to forgive you and don’t ever return to these activities again. Sexual activity is reserved for marriage only.
Moving forward, don’t make any preparation for sexual sin regardless of whether you get into a serious relationship or not. If you continue to engage in sexual activity outside of marriage, you’re increasingly making yourself less marketable for a man of God to want you as his wife. If you try to hide your sexual history from your future husband, the truth about you will eventually come out, based on scripture (Luke 8:17).
Let’s keep digging into several other sexual compromises that are not so obvious.
#2 - Media Consumption
The second one is your Media Consumption. The type of media you consume opens up a myriad of sexual compromises you could be inviting into your life. You may be thinking, “How is what I watch or listen to preventing me from getting married?” It sounds ludicrous.
The movies & shows you watch, the music you listen to and social media you look at, can actually be a turn off to a man of God, because it has the ability to fundamentally change your Christian persona.
As Christians, we have to be careful of what we ingest into our souls. If your movie choices are rated R, you’re opening yourself up to all sorts of evil with pornographic imagery, homosexuality, extreme violence and more. Movies on relationships can affect your perception about sex and how you should go about finding a mate; which results in making erroneous choices in relationships.
Movies can even give you an appetite for secular men and cause you to have poor discernment about a man’s character, which causes you to be more open to entertaining the wrong type of men. Your God-given marital desire could become corrupted and evolve into a lust for worldly men, whether you realize it or not.
Negative media can plant sexually charged imagery or emotions in your mind that can cause you to make sexual mistakes when you do get into a relationship. This usually leads to your single status lasting longer than you desire. When couples engage in premarital sex, oftentimes they don’t end up in marriages.
The media can also give you a false impression on what marriage is like in reality and cause you to feel disappointed if your future marriage doesn’t end up looking like what you saw in a movie. To a mature Christian man, if you indulge in this type of negative, secular entertainment, it can make you appear spiritually immature and unaware, which can be seen as a turn-off to a real man of God.
#3 - Your Style of Dress
The wrong type of media, images, etc. brings us to our third sexual compromise, Your Style of Dress. If you desire to look like that sexy girl on social media or in the movies who always gets attention from men, then you’re going to start gradually adopting a sexier style of dress.
"What you wear speaks volumes about who you are, what you think of yourself, the type of attention you’ll attract from men and the type of men that will approach you."
It’s common sense that when a woman is scantily clad, men will pay attention. Keep in mind, you’ll be warding off the right type of Christian men in the process. Of course they’ll notice you, but they’ll also disregard you. Why?
Because of the way you dress in public, in their mind, they won’t think of you as Christian wife material; but, you will get secular men to approach you.
Men will never step up to the plate and do right by women when they can see what only husbands are supposed to see, and men will never change until women start holding them to a higher standard.
Authentic Christian men can discern a lustful woman easily by the way she dresses and they’ll stay away from her, but ungodly men will sense a lustful woman and be attracted to her for all the wrong reasons and this is not the scenario you’re looking for.
#4 - Sexual Thoughts
The fourth compromise is Sexual Thoughts. If you have a sexual past, watch movies with sexual imagery or view sexually charged images online, sexual thoughts may be more of a struggle for you than for others. If you’re not married and you allow sexual thoughts about anyone, this is a sin before God and you should repent.
The Bible instructs us on what we should think about; whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, commendable, excellence and anything worthy of praise, think about these things (Philippians 4:8).
Nobody sees or knows about these sexual thoughts but you and God, so this type of sin can stay hidden; but it’s internally destructive and will eventually manifest itself outwardly. What you should be concerned about is the fact that God does see these thoughts and He is the final judge.
As a single Christian woman, you want to practice keeping your heart and mind pure before God, because if you allow yourself to indulge in these types of thoughts now, they won’t magically disappear aft er you get married. You’re developing a stronghold in your mind and creating a marital problem for yourself before your marriage even begins.
Practice focusing your mind on the things of God and purifying your thoughts on a regular basis. If sexual thoughts are a problem for you, God doesn’t want you to struggle and bring this problem into a marriage. He knows it’s best for you to overcome it before meeting someone, so sexual thoughts can be another hindrance to your marital progress.
#5 - Masturbation
The fifth topic is extremely taboo and no one likes to talk about it; Masturbation. It’s another sin that remains hidden. Masturbation is an unnatural way to gratify yourself sexually and is used to try and replace the fact that you don’t have a sexual partner. If you continue to gratify yourself in this manner, you’re altering the way your body responds to sexual gratification.
When you do get married and have sex the way God intended it, your body may not respond the way it’s supposed to naturally because you’ve trained it, through masturbating, to respond to a false stimulus when it desires sexual gratification.
Again, you’re creating a marital problem for yourself before your marriage even begins. Repent from this type of sin, make no provision for it and pray for any damage to your body to be undone in Jesus’ name.
#6 - Selection of Friends
The sixth compromise people tend to disregard is their Selection of Friends. Birds of a feather, flock together. If your friends are primarily secular or carnal Christians and love to indulge in worldly things, you likely have some affinity to this as well. People don’t tolerate anything they won’t celebrate.
You may think you’re ministering to your unsaved friends because you’re the only Christian they know and they’ll be able to watch your Christian lifestyle; but if you’ve never verbally told your friends about salvation in Jesus Christ and how they can be delivered from sin and go to heaven, then you’re not really ministering to anybody.
What you’re doing is showing support for an ungodly lifestyle and partially satisfying that secular remnant in yourself through your unsaved friends. So, how can your friends be a hindrance to you getting married?
Your unsaved friends are likely connected to other unsaved friends. They won’t know of any saved, on fire, holy spirit filled Christian men they can introduce you to. This description of a Christian man will sound foreign to them, so they’ll be of no help to you in this area.
If you’re hanging around unsaved men, you’re putting yourself in an unwise position to compromise your taste in Godly men or fail sexually with them at some point whether you realize it or not.
When you surround yourself with mature, quality Christian men and women, this makes it easier for you to eventually meet a true man of God in whom you might have an interest in. If you’re wondering why you haven’t met anybody yet, take a look at your circle of friends. If there are no outstanding Christian men in it, then you’ve found your answer.
Summary
Let’s face it, every woman loves good entertainment, music, fashion and great friends. But when entertainment causes you to act inappropriately, music causes you to think impurely, fashion causes you to dress lewdly and friends cause you to compromise your morals and values; it’s time to start being more vigilant at guarding your heart.
As a single Christian woman, you have to resist these worldly influences. The poor choices and sexual compromises you make now in an effort to assimilate to this world is actually costing you precious time from meeting the Godly man you’re destined to marry, and it can also affect the success rate of your future marriage.
All of these sexual compromises display different levels of spiritual immaturity and it’s not in your best interest to meet and marry a man if you’re struggling in any one of these areas.
"These sexual compromises can cause all sorts of problems in a marriage if they are not properly dealt with in advance."
While you’re still single, take this time to deal with these 6 sexual compromises that could be holding you back from getting married. Focus on transforming yourself into a more mature Christian woman by removing any of these roadblocks you may be putting in your own way.
Check out the chapter on "How to Prepare Yourself to Meet The One" in the book Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation to learn how to prepare your body for marriage from the inside out. Get your copy today!
Now we'd like to hear from you:
Were any of these 6 sexual comprises surprising to you?
Or, which of these sexual compromises have you already overcome?
Let us know by leaving a comment below!
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