How do you know if you’re a mean girl? If you have Christ, is it even possible to still be mean? The Bible includes this scripture for a reason:
"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing." -1 Corinthians 13:1-2 (NASB)
Let’s get to the bottom of this because most Christian women would never believe or agree that they could actually be a mean person underneath their Christian lifestyle that they show to the rest of the world. This “mean” character trait has a huge impact on your love life and future marriage so please pay attention.
It’s highly unlikely that you would ever be mean to your Pastor, church family or Christian community because frankly, it would make you look bad and could damage your “Christian reputation.” If someone is observant enough, like a man that may want to pursue you as his future wife, your mean character traits can be picked up on easily and it will be a huge turn off.
Here’s where it starts. How do you treat and talk to your Dad, your brothers or anyone else in your immediate family? These are the people you are most comfortable with, so you’re likely to act however you want and know there will be no serious repercussions for your behavior.
Let’s dig a little deeper. Is your Dad even in your life? Do you have any type of bitter resentment towards him if he was an absent father?
Women don’t realize they have to deal with these “Daddy issues” internally before getting married. If you are disrespectful, angry, argumentative, etc. to your Dad or brothers you can rest assured that this is exactly how you will treat and talk to your future husband because these were the men closest to you growing up that you likely lived with, and your behavior towards them on how to treat and talk to men was formed at a young age.
Start to examine yourself. How is your love walk? Do you only treat certain people favorably because you either want to make an impression or want something from them? How do you treat people who can do nothing for you? For example, the janitor, the table waiter, the cashier.
Your love walk doesn’t start with your husband, it starts now. You can never be kind to your husband if you can’t be genuinely kind to the people closest to you and those who can do nothing for you. Marriage is not a light switch where everything about you just changes, the bad things about you get magnified in a marriage and for some people that’s when things fall apart. The goal is not to just get married, the goal is to stay married.
I hope you will seriously consider this advice and make things right with the people closest to you in your life and start to treat them more respectfully. Women need love and men need respect, without it, a marriage is doomed to fail. A man will not tolerate a disrespectful woman in a marriage and a man will never approach you romantically if he senses you have disrespectful ways.
If this was helpful and you desire even more advice on marriage preparation, please check out our book: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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