Have you lost your romantic self-awareness? If you’ve been single for a long time, it’s possible your romantic side could have gotten a little callous without you even realizing it.
What does this look like? It can be very subtle and it’s something you wouldn’t even realize has occurred until you actually get into a relationship and treat it like a business arrangement and your dates turn into inquisitive work meetings. The time you spend with your significant other becomes constantly scheduled and can lack genuine spontaneity and fun. You’re more concerned about ‘getting it done’ as far as being married versus taking the time to really get to know someone and appreciate who they really are.
How does this happen? Primary sources that can cause this are working a corporate job, being a manager and ex-relationships that went sour to name a few. You can literally forget or not know what it feels or looks like to be a sweet, romantic woman when you’re with someone.
Women have to take care of themselves nowadays by having a job, but if you’re not careful, some of the those masculine traits that a corporate job can breed into a woman will follow you home and permeate into your romantic relationship seamlessly. You’ll think you’re acting normal and won’t recognize it much, but a man will. You don’t want to let hardness from a job or bitterness from bad relationships cause you to forget how to have a romantic relationship with someone with all the womanly traits that go along with it. Sweetness, kindness, softness, being empathetic, passionate, etc. men can feel this when you have it and they can definitely feel it when you don’t.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship and things just didn’t work out and there wasn’t a bad breakup, you just mutually decided to move on, you might have been missing this romantic chemistry and the man felt it. He just may not have been able to articulate it well enough to make you aware of what was wrong, so he just left.
How can you prevent this from happening? You have to be more romantically self-aware by staying in touch with your feminine side. Learn more about feminine traits from the Bible; a gentle, quiet, compassionate, meek spirit, etc. Be aware of how you’re treating your close friends and family, are you being too rigid and stiff as if you were at work? Are you being bossy towards people like a manager when you’re outside of work? Do you have bitter thoughts, feelings or unforgiveness about a person you used to be in a relationship with? Are you afraid to let go and give your whole heart in your next relationship because you have a subconscious fear of getting hurt or left again? These are all things you need to examine about yourself that could cause this unwanted behavior and lack of romantic self awareness. It could cause a new relationship to go nowhere fast.
As a single woman, sometimes you have to fight to maintain that feminine soft side when the world is screaming at you to be more tough, take what’s yours, rise to the top of that company, don’t let a man boss you around, etc. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a strong, independent woman, but when you’re with a man, you can’t be both the man and the woman.
Finally, meet and marry your husband God's way. Marriage preparation and Godly relationship advice for Christian women. Order the book here: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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