Singleness has real struggles. It ranges from thinking you’re not pretty enough to wanting sexual intimacy, concerns you might not get married as quickly as you’d like, fear that it might not happen or you won’t be able to have children, wondering if you’ll have to work forever to support yourself, etc. This can be stressful, frustrating, depressing and even terrifying for some. Don’t let it be.
Let me share a little secret with you, I got married at 35 years old. The age the world claims women should be having children by. I never thought I would get married that late in life, I figured I’d be married well before I turned 30, but that didn’t happen. I seemingly had no problem being able to get a man’s attention and get myself into wrong relationships. When I was single, I had no idea how clueless I was about romantic relationships and the best ways to get it done as a Christian woman so I could actually get married.
Just because you can get a lot of attention from men based on the way you look or act, doesn’t mean one of these men is guaranteed to turn into your husband. Quantity of men does not equal quality, marriageable men that you are compatible with, nor does it mean you’re even ready to be married just because you can get a lot of male attention. Marriage is serious business and the more single women understand that, the less they’ll romanticize it, over spiritualize it and be real with themselves and the men they’re meeting as potential mates.
If you think the struggle is real now, getting married is the easy part, staying married is the real challenge.
If you’re not married yet, there’s a reason. Most women want to think God has been hiding them for years and that’s why they haven’t been found yet. If you’re over 30 years old, oftentimes this is not the case. It’s possible you could be hidden for some nebulous reason that nobody knows but God, but 9 times out of 10 you’re probably just not ready for marriage yet and God knows it, this is why you continue to wait.
I don’t want you to feel frustrated or too anxious about getting married, because that’s when you can settle and make poor decisions about who to marry and marriage is one decision you want to make sure you get right the first time.
If your every waking thought is along the lines of, “I wonder if I’ll meet my husband today,” etc. and it’s literally your main topic of conversation, you might not just be impatient but you could have some level of desperation.
Here’s the problem. Men don’t like desperate women; they can pick up on it and it’s unattractive. If you’re always trying to get some guy’s attention wherever you go, flirting and so on, it’s obvious to men and no man wants a desperate woman. Why?
A desperate woman makes a man feel like he’s just a number and it’s not really about him, but it’s all about the girl getting married and she’s just using him to get there. This setup will never work, the man knows it, so he’ll just look at you, never seriously approach you to court you and move on. Months later, you might see him engaged or married to some other woman that didn’t give off these desperate vibes.
The struggle may be real as a single woman, but sometimes you have to look introspectively and figure out if the real struggle isn’t just waiting for the man to arrive, but the real struggle might be coming from you. No one ever wants to think they’re the problem, I know I didn’t, but sometimes we have to look at the common denominator. If you want to move past roadblocks known and unknown that could be hindering you from meeting your future husband, my book is full of practical advice that you can put into practice right away and start seeing results.
I was single for a long time so I’m not encouraging you in this book to feel better while you wait for God to deliver your husband, I’m showing you how to get it done in ways that are the most effective and have worked for the vast majority of Christian women. You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results, it's time to try something new. Go ahead and order the book, all it can do is work!
Order the book here: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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