Do you say what you mean and mean what you say? If someone asks you to do something and you really don’t want to do it, what do you say? “Sure, no problem!”
Then you go home and complain about it to everyone else. I have firsthand knowledge on this because I’ve dealt with people pleasing most of my life and I’m still working on it to make sure I’m rid of it!
After being married, I learned how to be a more straightforward person. If you’re not telling people the truth about something because you’re afraid to disappoint them, you’re lying. If you’re telling people what they want to hear versus what you want to say, you’re lying.
Stop beating around the bush, say what you mean and mean what you say. Is it hard? Yes! It can be extremely difficult for so many reasons. Sometimes I admire women who are more blunt in their conversation style because most of my life I’ve never been that way, but I’m learning the art of being ‘bluntly’ honest, but tapering it so it’s not misconstrued as rude or disrespectful.
Otherwise known as, “speaking the truth in love.” People don’t like to hear the truth, which is a part of the problem. They want to hear what they want to hear and will dare to argue you down if you don’t tell them that. Not being straightforward is a common trait of women who are more passive and like to avoid conflict, the downside is they can let people take advantage of them, including men.
If you’re not straightforward when it comes to relationships with men, you can easily be led down the wrong path, for years!
If you don’t want something, say so. If you don’t like something, say so. If you don’t want to do something, say so. If you’re not interested in a man, say so! Women feel like they have to lie in order to stop from hurting a man’s feelings. You can tell him the truth in love. If you say, “We can just be friends,” but you have no intention of being this man’s friend and you only tell him that so he’ll stop trying to pursue you romantically, you need to be honest and tell him to leave you alone; in a kind way!
You don’t have to entertain every man that shows an interest in you. It’s ok to just walk away if that’s what you feel like doing. You don’t owe any man anything, not your time or conversation. Keep it moving. This advice is especially true for strange men on the street that try to “holler” at you. These “stranger romance” scenarios should be avoided at all costs. You don’t owe it to these men to show your Christian kindness. You have to protect yourself, most of these men are wolves in sheep’s clothing trying to see if you’ll give them the time of day to try and destroy everything you stand for and years later cause you to have some sort of sob story testimony that could’ve been avoided. Stay far away!
When you start being more straightforward in your communication, you begin to feel more freedom and control over your life. What you say goes, not what everyone expects of you and wants you to do. Don’t be a pushover or everyone’s doormat because this will cause you to feel frustrated and taken advantage of. It’s easier for people to take advantage of single women if they are not straightforward because there is no man there to take charge of the situation when they see this happening.
Believe it or not, the church can even take advantage of single women and their “abundant availability” to work in the church and do tasks no one else is available or willing to do. Even if you are available, you don’t have to be available for something you don’t want to do, this is not your responsibility. You do what you desire and what the Lord is leading you to do, bottom line. I used to work in the nursery at a church I attended when I was single. Did I want to? No! I just did it because they needed people to help, so I said yes. I don’t regret it, but I did it because I didn’t know how to say no to people. I learned later on that this is not a good trait to have. If you don’t stand up for yourself or no one else will, start now and learn how to gain more control over your life and relationships.
Is it hard to be straightforward with men? It definitely can be, which is why women end up in so many wrong relationships and situations they'd rather not be in. I want to help you make better decisions while you're still single so you'll end up in a successful Godly relationship that leads to marriage and my book will help you do this in more ways than one.
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Finally, meet and marry your husband God's way. Marriage preparation and Godly relationship advice for Christian women. Order the book here: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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