Sacrifices of a Wife

Many single women desire to be married and think it’s going to be like living in a fairytale, but they never stop to think about the sacrifices it takes to be a good wife.

Anything you’ve achieved in life took some sort of sacrifice on your part, whether it was a sacrifice of your time, money, effort, etc. Once you’ve achieved your goal and look back, most of the time it was worth the sacrifice and it usually required some hard work on your part.

Being a good wife is no different. Most single women are focused on the wedding part of getting married; understandably so because they usually don’t have much context beyond the honeymoon. It’s likely because you don’t often hear married couples talking about the quality and status of their marriage beyond posting honeymoon photos on social media. That’s for a reason. The first few years of marriage are often the hardest for many couples.

The sacrifices of a wife extend far beyond the first few years of marriage. Being a self sacrificial person becomes the new norm when you’re a wife and even more so when you become a mother. Some women might not be able to handle this and it could cause problems in a marriage.

I know a woman who was married young with a husband in the military and not long after the wedding, he was deployed overseas and she went with him. This was her first time as a young woman traveling out of the country. She grew up in a small town with a large close knit family and never traveled far from home. She may have never imagined this would actually happen to her, or at least not so soon. Instead, she had to leave everything she knew behind for several years and even had a child in a foreign country with no support from her family. The sacrifice she was expected to perform as a new wife was unimaginable and shocking for her. This was not the scenario she envisioned or chose for herself as a wife.

When we’re single, we don’t often think about marital sacrifices that could be required of us. When you’re in love, it doesn’t always make these decisions any easier. You’ll learn that love has many dimensions to it, it’s not just a warm and fuzzy feeling all the time, it’s a decision. Jesus showed us love by going to the cross, regardless of how He felt, He did it anyways. He made a choice.

The sacrifices of a wife are innumerable and different for every married couple, but I want you to expect them.

It could even be small things like, when you want to say something and be right, instead you’re going to have to shut up to keep the peace in your house. When you want to go somewhere and your husband prefers you both stay home together, you’re going to stay home, be glad about it and not cause problems. Some of you might think, “I’d still leave and I’ll see him when I get home, he’s not going to control me.” If you think this way, this mentality is the setup for your next argument. What you think will eventually come out of your mouth and your attitude will show in your actions from that point forward.

If you want to be married, you cannot be selfish. You have to give of yourself and sometimes you will NOT want to. As women, we set the tone for our house. The bible says, “Blessed are the peacemakers,” Matthew 5:9. Don’t intentionally do things to disrupt the peace in your home that are trivial like this. My mom always said, “Pick your battles.” In other words, don’t fight over dumb stuff, it’s a waste of time and it’s time that you can never get back. “As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone,” Romans 12:18.

Many women are used to getting their way. Especially if they were spoiled by their Dad when they were young or if they’ve been single for a long time. When your husband doesn’t let you get your way in a marriage, you may have a tendency to act out, almost like a spoiled child and cause unnecessary problems. This might sound funny, but it happens more often than you’d realize in marriages.

Women are called to submit to their husbands. It can sound all romantic and spiritual if you’ve never had to do it, but it’s not always easy and it’s definitely not something we do naturally, look at what Eve did in the garden! Submission takes work, maturity and growth, it doesn’t just happen. Submission is another sacrifice a wife is required to do by God, in everything!

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

- Ephesians 5:34

I don’t want you to go into your future marriage with unrealistic expectations that your husband is going to serve you all the time and you’re going to be the queen of your household. It just doesn’t work like that, God calls us to serve one another in love, Galatians 5:13.

As a future wife you will have to make sacrifices. Some of them are easy and some of them might be hard, but if you maintain a good attitude and ask God to help you along the way, you will reap the blessings and marital benefits associated with it.

Finally, meet and marry your husband God's way. Marriage preparation and Godly relationship advice for Christian women. Order the book here: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.

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