As women, most of us have to admit that we’re much more emotional than men. Men tend to be more logical and have an interest in things, where women tend to be more emotional and have an interest in people.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with either of these gender traits, but as women we have to make sure we have our emotions under control because at times they may get out of hand. I’m not writing this because my emotions are perfectly under control, I’m still a work in progress.
As a married woman, I have a unique insight into how over emotionalism affects marital relationships and ways you can work to prevent this behavior while you’re still single.
Think about this, how do you react when things don’t go your way whether it’s in public or in private? Do you get angry, upset, irritated, aggressive, etc.?
Let’s take it up a notch, the last time something or someone made you extremely angry, what was your reaction? Did you get loud, yell, argue or try to get revenge in some way, whether the other person knew it or not? These are all telltale signs that can predict how you might act in a marriage when your husband makes you mad. These emotions can be a recipe for disaster if you allow them to have their full vent.
Emotions are normal, they’re a part of human nature so you should be able to “feel” things, but it’s different when you allow them to control you and dictate your actions. One of the hardest things to do sometimes in a marriage is to hold your tongue and control your emotions. It might sound easy now because you’ll be “in love” and in marital bliss and maybe you can’t wait to submit to your future husband; but, if you’ve ever heard the phrase, “there’s a thin line between love and hate,” marriage can definitely put that theory to the test in the heat of an argument.
When single women want to be married, they often focus on the man, how he should be and what he should do. But in reality, you really should focus on yourself and how you should be and what you should be doing because that’s the only thing you have control over right now, and the wife makes a huge impact in a marriage based on how she behaves.
As a single woman, it's wise to learn how to put your emotions in check now. If someone upsets you, do you give them the silent treatment for however long and then come out of hiding when you’re ready to talk again and they didn’t even know they were being ‘secretly punished’ by you? The layers of emotions and reactions to them runs deep and you can’t hide things like this when you’re married, you’ll just escalate the problem.
How can you learn to get your emotions in check while you’re single? The next time someone or something triggers you in a negative way, choose to let it go, right then and there. Drop it and think about something else. It’s much harder than it sounds, trust me! You’ll know if you’ve achieved victory if whatever was bothering you isn't changing your attitude, stealing your joy and you’ve completely stopped thinking and talking about it. This is what total forgiveness looks like. We have to remember Jesus forgave us and doesn’t even remember our sins, He blotted them out (Isaiah 43:25). Our goal is to be like Him in this and thank God He shows us that it is possible.
There are other ways to calm yourself down after being upset about something, go workout, do relaxing stretches, whatever helps you to control those emotions so they don’t fester, run your life or dictate your actions. A paraphrased quote by Andrew Wommack, “If you conceive negative emotions in your mind, you can expect to give birth to something evil.” Getting control over this area now and being able to quickly switch from negative to positive emotions will benefit you greatly when you do get married.
For more dating and relationship advice, marriage preparation, how to heal from your past and more, purchase the book: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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