If you meet a man on the street you’re attracted to and you ask him, “Are you a Christian?” and he says, “Yes.” Do you believe him? Christians don’t lie so of course you would believe him, why would he say he’s a Christian if he’s not?
The devil lies and he’s an expert at it, don’t be so gullible. Men are natural predators when it comes to finding women, even more so when they’re not believers. They’ll tell you everything you want to hear and do everything you want them to do until they get you in the position they want you in.
Be aware of the classic lukewarm responses if you ask a man if he’s a Christian, “Oh yeah, I go to church.” “My parents go to xyz church.” “I grew up going to church.” “I go to church sometimes.”
When a man starts talking like this, they’re basing their so-called Christianity on church attendance. There is likely no spiritual depth there or deep understanding on what it really means to be a Christian and live like one or they never would’ve responded with church first. I can almost guarantee their response would never include addressing their personal relationship with Christ or salvation in any way. Being in a church does not make you a Christian just like being in a garage does not make you a car.
In my humble opinion, I advise you to avoid these men at all costs. I’ve been there, done that and it never turns out well because you always end up dealing with a man that barely understands salvation, hardly knows if they’re saved and you become their spiritual leader by trying to evangelize them into what you want him to be spiritually. This is all so you can make it work out because you think they’re attractive and you finally got a man that’s interested in you and it’s about time you got married. Don’t do it sisters, don’t do it.
I never advocate for these types of stranger romance scenarios, but I’m addressing it because I know you may come across this type of approach at some point and some women are stronger than others at turning a man down.
I teach about meeting your future husband in a Christian community, where there is safety, accountability and so many other reasons, but I know everyone doesn’t agree with that method because they believe God can have you meet your husband anywhere. While that concept is true, God usually does the best thing.
Think about where unbelievers go to meet their spouse. Usually in a community of like-minded people where they share common values and interests; how much more Christians? Anyways, I digress and have more in depth videos and writings on the benefits of meeting someone in a Christian community (Watch this video).
If you are of the type that’s willing to risk the stranger romance scenario, which is meeting any man on the street whether it’s in a coffee shop or grocery store, I have to give you some guidance to help you stay safe. First of all, do NOT give a stranger your personal contact information. No cell numbers, social media, PII (Personally Identifiable Information), etc. If you just can’t seem to resist this man for whatever reason, invite him to your Christian community. Whether it’s your church, small group, Christian socials, etc. If you don’t have one, get one ASAP.
You have to test the spirit of a man and watch him, which is why stranger romance scenarios are ill-advised. See what fruit he bears and never allow yourself to be one on one with him, in a dating/hanging out context with no other friends there. Be mindful, if you invite him to a community where another man already has an interest in you whether you know it or not, that man will be watching you and your interactions with this new man over time and that could make or break a potential you could’ve had with someone you already knew. So act accordingly.
If the man you invite never attends or has no interest in attending your Christian community, I implore you to leave him alone immediately, he’s not right. I’ve been there, done that it’s not worth your time or trouble and your safety is involved. Please ladies, hear me on this; some men are counterfeits and can delay or destroy you from meeting your husband at the right time because the wrong man is in the way taking up your time, space and opportunities. You are in control of all of this based on your decisions.
When you’re interested in a man, you want to not only watch him but hear his testimony, listen to him pray, that will give you some insight on his relationship with God and how well acquainted he is with the Father. Women try to rush to make things happen so much that they’re not willing to take the time to examine a man in their midst for a while before anything romantic occurs. This is a mistake and many women have paid dearly for it.
Pray for God to give you discernment about men and listen to it. Many wolves have still managed to slip through the cracks and even infiltrate Christian communities with lies and deception on who they are, that’s why patience is a virtue and other people you trust can help you to not make mistakes. You can learn a lot about someone if you just wait a while. Consider what people are saying about a man of interest and don’t always assume jealousy like some women tend to do, be wise and use wisdom because it will keep you safe in the long run.
Finally, meet and marry your husband God's way. Marriage preparation and Godly relationship advice for Christian women. Order the book here: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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