As a Christian woman, have you ever tried online dating or thought about trying it?
Whether you’ve tried it or not, you may have thought about it in the back of your mind as another option to use in meeting your future husband. You are not alone, many people, even Christians, have been turning to online dating in order to expand their options of suitable men.
Psychology of Online Daters
But, what is it that really causes women to try online dating in the first place?
"If you ask most women, they might say it’s because online dating gives you the opportunity to meet more men than would ever be possible and therefore it could increase your chances of meeting your future husband."
That sounds like it makes sense, but let’s dig a little deeper.
Many women have tried online dating because it’s popular, everyone is online and that is how you communicate so why wouldn’t you meet someone in this way? You probably assumed that by now you would have already met your husband and you begin to feel like your biological clock is ticking, and there is a possibility that your dreams of being married and having a family will not be a reality for you, and the thought of that can be heartbreaking.
As your friends and family increasingly become married with children it leaves you more isolated in finding a community of people where you can even meet a husband.
The root cause as to why women turn to online dating stems from a variety of reasons. For example, if you’re not meeting someone as quickly as you like and your mental timeline of when your husband should have arrived is thrown off, it can turn into a fear of not getting married which can result in a subconscious desperation.
Turning to online dating makes you feel like your dreams of being married one day will now have the opportunity to become a reality. If you dig below the surface emotionally, your mindset on how you go about finding your future husband, can put you in an extremely vulnerable situation where you could end up settling for the wrong man.
As a working professional, you’re so busy, how else would you meet someone as you get older if there are no eligible bachelors at your church? It may seem logical and safe to get to know someone virtually through a video conference and just meet them in person when you’re comfortable or if you feel like there was a connection, right? Wrong! Let me share with you some eye opening statistical facts about online dating:
Facts About Online Dating
More than 53% of Americans fabricate parts or all of their dating profile, in other words, they lie!
51% of online daters are already in a relationship of some kind
Rapists and sex offenders also use online dating as a method for assessing their next victims.
Statistics show that only 17% of married couples met online in comparison to 83% of married couples met offline!
Casual Dating & Still Single
Now if you don’t really care about meeting your future husband and you just want a bunch of dates with random men and free meals at nice restaurants, then go for it, but you will likely find yourself perpetually single if you do, and most likely, you will not find your husband.
Another reason is, as Christian women, we don’t do things like the world, period. The world is pushing it’s methods on how to find “the one” everywhere you look and you’re getting older, so the openness to wanting to try online dating is understandable from an emotional perspective, but its ineffectiveness for Christians as a whole is paramount. Of all the believers who are meeting and marrying their spouses, the statistics have already proven that the most effective way wasn’t through online dating.
Why in the world would you want to add yourself to an online pool of fish that has a statistically proven, less than 50/50 chance of even working out?
Finding Christian Men
Ok, so now what? What is your next step as a woman of God? How do you put yourself in the best position to be “found” by a real man of God? Here is a revelation, your church is not the only avenue that can be leveraged for you to “be found” by a real man of God. Of course, it is an extremely viable option that should not be overlooked. But, you may find yourself in a frustrating situation if your church doesn’t have any available men to choose from or if it doesn’t have any men that you are attracted to.
Unfortunately, this is the situation that many Christian women find themselves in and they don’t know where to find the Christian men. Men in general, are everywhere you look, but that doesn’t mean they’re men on fire for Christ.
So where does that leave you? It leaves you looking for other avenues where you can “be found” by your future husband that is not online dating or your church.
Maybe you’ve never tried online dating, but you’re open to meeting someone on social media or some other random way. Meeting and dating a random stranger on the street can be just as dangerous and ineffective as meeting someone through online dating or social media for Christian women.
Why? Because, your goal is not to meet worldly men who call themselves Christians and trick you into believing it, your goal is to meet a born again, holy spirit filled man of God. If that is not your goal as a Christian woman, you may need to re-evaluate what type of man you really want to marry and why. Men come a dime a dozen, but a true man of God is not as easy to find by just stepping foot out of your front door.
You my sister, need to be more selective on where you are hoping to meet your future husband, because a real man of God doesn’t just hang out anywhere. You have so much more value than leveraging a pretty picture to gain a virtual hook up. This is the same method secular men use to find female escorts, and you my friend, are worth far more than that. Don’t lower yourself to the world’s standards and techniques of finding a man.
Changing Your Strategy
There is a better, more biblically prescribed way to go about meeting your seemingly elusive future husband that will help you get off and stay off the online dating scene and eventually become successful in meeting your future husband.
Random stranger encounters and online hook-ups can lead to many disappointments, unmet expectations, wasted time, energy and emotions. You don't have time for that so why waste it? Let’s abandon the strategies of the world and learn the strategies God has created for us way ahead of time to meet our spouses.
So, if you’re tired of waiting and dating and you’re actually serious about wanting to know not only where to meet a good Christian man, but you also want to find out how you can put yourself in the best position to “be found” by your future husband and in the process transform yourself from the inside out and get him to notice you on marital level, here is a masterfully designed book for single Christian women called Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
The information presented in this book will resolve questions or concerns on the best way to go about meeting your future husband from a biblical perspective and expose any toxic mindsets that could be keeping you single and waiting for much longer than you desire.
Learn the biblical prescription on how to get ready for your future husband and be transformed in your spirit, mind, soul and even in your physical body. God wants his daughters to be married more than they do and has poured out strategic wisdom in this book to help guide you with knowledge so He can satisfy the desire of your heart for a husband.
You might think you’re still waiting on God, but God might be waiting on you.
Check out the chapter on "Dating vs. Courting" in the book Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation that goes into more detail about how to meet suitable men without dating them.
Get your copy today!
Now we'd like to hear from you:
Which sections in this article do you plan to focus on in your own life?
Or, has "being found" by suitable Christian men been a challenge for you?
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