Being single and waiting on your future husband is a unique time within itself, but adding a pandemic on top of that can add a whole new twist on being single. How are you supposed to meet anybody now?
Does anyone care about how you’re feeling? You’re alone most of the time, that can get extremely boring. Friends? What friends? Should you subject yourself to online dating now? We’re going to talk about it and show you how you can still thrive and put yourself in the best position to be found by your future husband even in the midst of a pandemic.
“You might be in a better position now to meet someone than you previously thought.”
We’re going to talk about 5 things to help you make sure you’re not just ok mentally, spiritually & physically during this pandemic, but whatever you’re doing with all this extra time on your hands is not purposeless but will continue to put you on the path to meeting your future husband. The dating strategy looks different for everyone right now, so let’s normalize it as much as possible. Let’s get started.
#1 - Loneliness & Anxiety
First things first, are you ok? Many people have been dealing with extreme loneliness during this pandemic because they haven’t been able to see their loved ones as often as they used to. This may have even caused feelings of anxiety and stress that you may have never experienced before, possibly even feelings of depression.
There’s good news, you’re a Christian so Jesus took every feeling of loneliness, anxiety, depression and stress upon himself for you when he died on the cross. You just have to believe it, so your body and mind doesn’t feel and feed into these negative emotions. You may not have experienced it yet, but the word of God is alive and active and can deliver you from the depths of any pit.
It may not feel like that now because emotions can be extremely powerful, but they’re also liars. Who is the father of lies? Satan (John 8:44). There are a few scriptures you can meditate on to pull yourself out of any negative emotions that are trying to take root in your mind during this time. Meditating on scripture means for you to think deeply or focus your mind on them for a period of time in silence or repeat them verbally. When you do this, watch how the word of God comes alive in your heart and mind and how it can transform your mental situation, praise the Lord! It’s time to renew your mind in the word of God and use it to fight off the attacks of the devil.
Here are a few scriptures to get you started:
John 14:27 - God’s peace
Psalm 91:14-15 - Deliverance
Philippians 4:7-8 - Joy/Peace in sleep
Psalm 4:3 - The Lord hears when you call
Philippians 4:6-7 - Anxious/Peace of God
#2 - Dating
There is a way to navigate this uncertain dating environment, keep yourself safe, not have to subject yourself to online dating, still have the element of in person communication and get to know someone that could turn into a courting situation for marriage. Here’s how.
It’s highly recommended to get to know people in person and in Christian groups for too many reasons to list in this article; so if you want more information on that, check out our other article here. If your church is still meeting in person for services and groups, then you may not be experiencing much of a change. But, if your church is not meeting in person for small groups and ministries or you don’t feel comfortable being there in person, now is the perfect time to fellowship with people through video conferencing.
You can even start your own Christian group that’s unaffiliated with your church and is geared towards whatever you’re interested in to meet new people. Joining co-ed Christian groups either at your church, another church or online eliminates the perceived need, pressure and safety issues of having to subject yourself to online dating.
Try creating activities that your group can do in person that keeps everyone safe but is still fun, like skiing, ice skating or any type of outdoor activities based on where you live. You can even meet indoors and be sure everyone is socially distanced so they feel comfortable.
One advantage with your church groups is you may already know these people but you’re cultivating the relationships in person more consistently, which is very important, and you never know who you might hit it off with. For any new groups, you’ll already know what the people look like from the video calls when everyone does meet in person. You can use these methods of keeping everyone safe and still connect in person to build relationships over time.
It is not recommended to do one-on-one video chats with anyone until you’ve gotten to know them extensively. Take things extremely slow, this will pay off in the long run and will help you really get to know someone before becoming romantically involved.
It’s also not recommended to join online groups where there is no video communication. Looking at someone’s picture is not enough information for you to decide that you like someone or vice versa. The results are usually disappointing, so don’t waste your time.
If something is meant to spark off with someone, it will. If you are interested in someone, make it obvious so they know you like them, but don’t come off as overbearing and desperate, that’s a turn off. Make sure you look your best during these video chats and in person events. If you’re wearing a mask, don’t use that as an excuse to not put yourself together well because it will show. Care about your appearance when you’re on and off camera.
People aren’t taking each other for granted anymore and they’re realizing that being alone in their house for months on end is not fun, and the men who haven’t settled down to find a wife before the pandemic hit, are likely thinking twice about their decisions now.
"Christian men may be stepping up to the plate to get married in numbers like we’ve never seen before. This pandemic has likely made them realize what’s more important in life, people and family that loves, takes care of and supports them."
They might feel more compelled to finally find their wives, settle down and get married. Don’t give up hope on being married based on the new circumstances the world is living in. What the enemy meant for evil, God will turn it around for your good and give you favor, even in the midst of a pandemic.
#3 - Desperation
As a single woman, being alone physically and without a significant other during this pandemic can play on your emotions and make you feel more anxious to find someone when an opportunity presents itself. If you meet someone that’s interested in you, you don’t know when another opportunity will arise to be able meet someone again and this could cause you to settle for someone you wouldn’t otherwise be interested in out of loneliness.
If someone pays attention to you when you’re lonely, you’re more open to entertain them than you would be otherwise. Be careful with this, because this pandemic situation could have bred a subconscious desperation in some women where they’re just so ready to meet someone and get married so they can have companionship.
The last thing you ever want to do in your life is settle for the wrong man and marry him. You’re better off being alone forever before you do this. A man can destroy your life or make your life better. So many women have gotten married out of desperation and being in love with the ideology of marriage and now they’re miserable, trying to find a way out. The only way out of marriage biblically is adultery, if one spouse is an unbeliever and they leave, or death. Otherwise, you’re stuck. Meditate on that for a moment.
"Singleness is a wonderful thing in lieu of being miserable and stressed out for a lifetime and hating your marital situation, just because you couldn’t wait to wear a white dress and show off a ring."
You’re allowed to be picky with whom you choose to spend your time with and by all means, you should be. You want to be happily married, not miserably married, just getting by and potentially having to go through a divorce; it’s just not worth it, WAIT, as long as it takes. The anguish single women think they feel with having to wait so long to be married, is like roses and candy in comparison to the anguish they would feel being locked into a bad marriage for a lifetime. Search your heart, pray and even write down your standards for a man so you won’t allow yourself to be desperate and compromise.
#4 - Spiritual Health
Some people are soaring spiritually during this pandemic and some people are suffering spiritually. Those that are soaring spiritually are usually among those that had a deep, genuine relationship with the Lord and sound biblical teaching before the pandemic hit. They understand that their relationship with Jesus has nothing to do with going to church.
They also believe and receive that by the stripes that wounded Jesus they are and were healed (Isaiah 53:5) and they know that no sickness, disease, pestilence or pandemic can come near them because they believe in the healing power and promises of God (Psalm 91:5-7). These people are getting closer to God each day and trusting him more and more in the midst of this pandemic.
Those that are suffering spiritually are usually the ones who relied too heavily on their church for their spiritual growth and social life every week. They’re more fearful and concerned that they could get sick with this pandemic and have allowed fear and worry to creep in. Their trust in God wasn’t as strong as they thought it was, once they separated from the body of Christ. Church attendance and fellowship with other believers is what kept them going instead of the presence of God alone. This pandemic has opened up a rude awakening for this type of person.
Which one are you?
Obviously, you want to be the one soaring spiritually, so if you truthfully examine yourself and discover that you’re suffering spiritually; it’s never too late to get things right. You have nothing but time and opportunity to turn it all around, God is just waiting for you to come to Him. Use this time to cultivate a deeper relationship with God and allow him to transform you from the inside out.
If you find that you’re suffering spiritually, you never want to get married to anyone in this state. A deeper relationship with God will help you have a more successful marriage. It’s vital to have God deeply rooted in the hearts of both spouses to maintain a prosperous, happy marriage, otherwise it can spell disaster for a marriage.
#5 - Physical Fatigue
This pandemic has naturally made a lot of people more lazy than usual because they’re not physically doing as much as they used to. This physical fatigue can also cause a mental fatigue which causes you to be completely unmotivated to do the things you know need to be done. You have to fight against this, you don’t want to neglect your physical body by not exercising, overeating or eating unhealthy foods. Doing this will make you feel even more fatigued which can alter your mood and make you more irritable.
This is actually a perfect time to transform your body and make yourself more physically attractive to your future husband, so when you do meet someone, your body is in the best shape. Exercising actually puts you in a better position to stand out and be noticed by men amongst the sea of other Christian women that may not be in the best physical shape. This may sound shallow, but men are extremely visual and how your body looks matters to them.
A lot of people are ordering home gyms and doing workouts online now. Get yourself started by looking up workout videos on YouTube and try them out. Use this time to improve yourself in every area so that you can be physically ready and available to meet your future husband.
Summary
Being single during a pandemic doesn’t have to be as bad as it sounds if you look at the bright side of the situation. It all depends on what you decide to do with your time and how you allow your mind to view your current situation.
You can take advantage of this time and transform yourself into the best future wife a man could ever envision, or you can look at the down side and think this pandemic is hindering you from meeting someone and get depressed about it.
The choice is yours, hopefully, you’ll choose wisely.
Now we'd like to hear from you:
Which of these 5 issues have you dealt with during the pandemic?
Or, which of these 5 things do you plan to work on or implement?
Let us know by leaving a comment below!
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