Are you feminine? It might sound crazy, but you can be a woman and not be feminine at all. A few classic examples of femininity are how you dress, your hairstyle, the way you carry yourself, etc.
A woman could take these few examples and run with them by making sure they always look pristine, have their hair and nails done and a new outfit for every occasion. In most cases, these external things are not what a man is really looking for in a wife. Most men are simple and they like simple things. If you’ve ever noticed, sometimes it’s the tomboy who gets the man, the t-shirt and jeans girl with a ball cap, ponytail and no makeup. Why?
With all the time and attention a woman puts into her external appearance, she expects and almost demands that it pays off in a husband. This isn’t always how it works because there are a few things you may still lack. The way you look does play a huge role in your femininity to get a man’s attention, but the way you act plays an even larger role and this is what future husbands pay close attention to. As beautiful as God created women to be, if a man is going to sacrifice every other woman on the planet for the rest of his life just to be with you, you better come correct in the most important areas.
What is not feminine and turns a man off? If a woman lacks the natural tendency to nurture a man, almost in the way his mother nurtured and cared for him, this is a turn off and shows that she lacks compassion. Think about it, who is going to cook for your husband, take care of the house and wash his laundry now since his mother stopped doing it? His wife.
This may sound ridiculous because you’re not his mother, but this is a real aspect of marriage. If you’re someone who is more cold or harsh because you expect the man to cater to your every whim, this is not feminine and a man can grow to resent that trait in you over time and he’ll end up looking for it elsewhere.
"Men like soft, sweet, kind women and whoever he encounters that treats him this way will make it much more difficult for him to be with someone who is callous and selfish."
Some women are overbearingly loud, argumentative and they come against a man’s opinion to voice their own and they’ll cut him off to get their point across and feel vindicated after the fact. Ladies, this is by far one of the worst traits you can have. If you have ever done this to any man, I implore you to kill that tendency right now. The Bible says in 1Peter 3:4 that the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God.
If you don’t have an innate gentle and quiet spirit, now is the time to cultivate one, because your mouth can destroy a marriage. This loud, argumentative, aggressive tendency in a woman is a masculine trait, there is nothing feminine about it and it can be a huge turnoff to a man. It’s unwise to try and “fake it until you make it” because your true colors will always show after marriage and the results can be devastating.
If you have a sharp, controlling, type A personality, this has to be tempered with meekness or a man will not be able to deal with you in a marriage. I’m not saying you can’t be who and how you are, I’m saying you have to use wisdom and change what is not going to benefit you in a relationship. A lot of women don’t want to change how they are because they want to find a man who will deal with them just the way they are. I can almost guarantee you these types of women will remain single, divorced or have serious marital problems.
I’m not being negative, I’m just being real. I’m not going to sugarcoat anything for you in this blog because you deserve to know the truth and adjust yourself accordingly.
"Outside of being saved, marriage is the second most important decision you’ll ever make in your life; it can literally make or break you."
It’s serious business and should be treated with the utmost care and respect; things don’t just happen in relationships, you have to make them happen and oftentimes that requires you to change.
If you want to be more feminine, start from the inside out. I’ve learned that a woman and how she acts carries so much weight in a marriage and she can literally steer the entire course of it either in the right direction or straight into a divorce. Consider who was first deceived in the garden of Eden and acted out, changing the entire course of the world, it was the woman! We play a huge role in a marriage and I want you to play it well.
Finally, meet and marry your husband God's way. Marriage preparation and Godly relationship advice for Christian women. Order the book here: Irresistible: The Ultimate Guide to Marriage Preparation.
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